APPRENTICES IAN MCGOWN Apprentice Manager, HIA Apprentices BANTER OR BULLYING We all engage in a bit of friendly ‘banter’ at work from time to time, but when is a joke no longer a joke? Banter can be described as playful teasing between friends, usually an equal and generally funny exchange. In most cases it can be a positive thing: it can help to build relationships, improve morale on job sites, and lead to a lot of laughter and fun. Most of us would agree that constant or intentionally cruel, degrading or hostile jokes are clearly unwelcome and likely to humiliate. In contrast, good natured or inclusive joking or ribbing that is amusing to all present is much less likely to humiliate. But lying between these two extremes of behaviour is a murky borderline that is very difficult to pin down. WHEN CROSSED, ‘HARMLESS’ JOKES, WHICH ARE OBJECTIVELY are adapting from school to work and don’t the person saying the hurtful comments UNREASONABLE AND want to appear ‘soft’. will stop when they realise that they don’t MIGHT HARM OR OFFEND Understanding the difference between have an audience. A PERSON... bullying and banter is crucial for everyone. 4. Don’t pick on something you know Here’s how to make sure that what is done someone is already insecure about – There are bound to be differences of in jest isn’t bullying. it’s a cheap shot! opinion as to what is funny and what is Never pick up on a feature that could not – individual senses of humour often How far is too far? be a sensitive subject for someone. vary wildly! There is, however, an 1. Know what humour is acceptable Laughing at someone’s appearance is ‘acceptability’ threshold. When crossed, Making fun of someone’s race, gender, not ok because you don’t know how self- ‘harmless’ jokes, which are objectively religion, disability, ethnicity or appearance conscious they are. unreasonable and might harm or offend isn’t acceptable. 5. Saying ‘it’s just a joke’ doesn’t lessen a person, are likely to be found to be 2. If it isn’t funny, don’t lugha the impact of a hurtful comment workplace bullying – with very serious We’ve all been there, you’re all having a Just because you say it’s a joke, doesn’t repercussions for those involved. laugh and someone oversteps the mark. mean it is. Think before you speak and Those who make the comments might Because of the group or setting you put the shoe on the other foot – would believe that what they are saying is a joke laugh it off, but if you don’t call someone you find it funny? Remember once it’s out and not intended to hurt, when in reality out on the fact they’ve taken it too far, it’s there it’s hard to take back. they are being insensitive to the other only going to encourage more comments Working in the building industry can be person’s feelings. of a similar nature. tough, no question, you need to have It’s often the case that the person on the 3. Don’t stand by and let it happen if fun and enjoy going to work. Banter is receiving end of this ‘banter’ feels like they someone is clearly not having fun absolutely key to enjoying your time at can’t speak out about it because it may It’s not ok to be a bystander. If someone work but it’s important to recognise when seem like they can’t take a joke. This can else is clearly not enjoying a bit of banter someone is experiencing bullying disguised be especially true for younger workers who then don’t be afraid to speak out. Often as banter. P20 BUILDING NEWS ISSUE 3/2018