Lindfield Prep Building self-confidence in boys This year, we have again challenged our boys to wring every ounce of opportunity out of Newington College. The school provides opportunities; our We encourage our boys to appreciate the boys only need the courage and grit to good things and positive interactions they work hard to realise them. have through our Second Step social skills To help our boys to seize opportunities, program and our work as a White Ribbon we endeavour to nurture the confidence School. Recently, in recognition of of our boys. Confidence is not linked to International Women’s Day, boys at a particular personality type. Whether a Lindfield wrote a gratitude card to a boy is gregarious or an introvert, we significant female figure in their lives to want him to trust in his abilities, express thanks for their love and support. qualities and judgement, and to have ‘Gratitude gets boys into the courage to move out of his comfort zone and take the myriad opportunities the habit of recalling all that Newington offers. is going well in their lives’ There are certain mindsets that we endeavour to nurture that help develop “Remember your accomplishments” confidence and a willingness to take a Mr Ben Barrington-Higgs risk. These mindsets are simple, As I watched children at a martial arts powerful and easy to implement. class recently I was reminded of this wrote down three things they were ideal. A big motivator in martial arts is grateful for, one positive experience and “Appreciate what you have” the hierarchy of the coloured belts. It’s a their daily exercise. They reflected on Practising gratitude not only makes us tangible way to measure progress and their day and documented their daily feel good, it changes the brain, set goals. However, this day the meditation practice. encouraging it to focus on positives instructor encouraged students to “Positive affirmations” rather than negatives. It helps our boys savour their accomplishments. In our realise how lucky they are. I’ve heard culture we often nail a goal then head Simply put, this is positive thinking to the analogy of Velcro and Teflon used to straight to the next one as though the develop a positive attitude. We can describe the ways our brain can process last one didn’t exist. I’m a big believer in teach children to reframe their thinking experiences. Negative experiences stick goals but sometimes, rather than look and develop confidence with positive ahead to what we haven’t yet achieved, self-talk. Newington is committed to like Velcro, while the positive ones are developing growth mindsets in the like a slippery, non-stick Teflon coating. we need to sit with the glory of the belt But gratitude gets boys into the habit of colour we are currently wearing. When community, which is closely linked to recalling all that is going well in their something has taken effort and this idea. So, next time you hear your commitment, it’s worth savouring. son say “I’m bad at this”, reframe the lives. This goes beyond material thought to something like “Once I get possessions to more important things Grades 5 and 6 completed a study of more practice, I’ll be much better”. like positive relationships, abilities and wellness in Term 1. The boys set goals Switch the focus: instead of “Oh, I’ve personal characteristics. in class for their learning and every day got to get up early to go swimming” try “I get to go swimming today!” As a parent, we might say “I have got to go to work today”. Instead we should say “I get to go to work today” and think about the benefits (opportunities, family security, helping others and sense of self) work provides. Self-confidence is the ability to recognise what we do has value, adds meaning to others and is purposeful. It is a crucial foundation stone that enables us to take opportunities and really work to achieve our potential. As Vincent van Gogh once said: “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” Mr Ben Barrington-Higgs Jeremy Tu learning to put sounds together during writing time in Kindergarten Head of Lindfield OPPORTUNITY| NEWS AUTUMN 2018| 43